Monday, February 11, 2008

hungry?

how hungry are you? i'm not talkin you forgot your "two twenty-five for your pizza bagel and pomegranate izze" i'm talking about how hungry you are for the Word of God. I don't care if you go to youth group two out of every five weeks or make it to cell occasionally, and hungry isn't hungry for the candy you get if you actually complete a bible reading. Do you read your word every day? Not skim for key verses, not reading it cuz ya have to, cuz that isn't reading the word. Skimming and sparknotes may work for school work but when it comes to the Word why on earth would you wanna just get the key points?! If you're not hungry for the Word and willing to dig into it, then it probably just seems like some nice words. Get hungry!! Pray before you read, ask God to speak to you through what your gonna read! For a while I had felt like I hit a wall in my relationship with Christ. I wasn't backslidden, i just felt... stagnant. I couldn't stand it! I wanted fresh fire soooooo bad!!! I kept praying and reading the Word but it was like I was stuck in the mud with my wheels spinning. I know the devil was trying to make me think i was burned out and should give up, and that made me laugh, the dumb devil, like i would ever leave God! So i P.U.S.H.ed-- I prayed until something happened, and boy, did something happen. I felt refreshed and hungry, I was so hungry- and when I got hungry, I noticed a hunger around me, kids at school were asking me about church! And the hungrier I get, the hungrier they get, in the past week i've had one girl commit to coming to my cell and one possibly coming, two ask about coming to church, two wanting to go to youth group and to summer camp, and one guy friend of mine get saved!! I know that if i keep pushing and staying in the Word and obeying that God will stir up a hunger in more souls. My challenge for you is to ask God to stir up a stronger hunger in you, and let that hunger take over you!! Get so hungry that you'll skip lunch to feed on the Word, love on your unsaved friends, ditch your secular trash music, ask God what it'll take to make you hungrier and I guarantee He will be faithful to you in what you ask for. Knock and the door will be opened, ask and you will recieve. GO FOR IT!! RELEASE THE BEAST!!! And let me know how it goes :)

-Devyn

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Stressors

Stressor: (strěs'ər) noun. An activity, event, agent, condition, or other stimulus that causes stress to an organism.

Stress: (strěs) noun. A specific response by the body to a stimulus that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.

Stimulus: (stĭm'yə-ləs)something that incites to action or exertion or quickens action, feeling, thought, etc.

I wanted to break down the title of this blog so that no one would jump to the conclusion that I am depressed or stressed in a bad way. Often times I think we forget that stress isn't just being stressed out by something negative. Although we use the word in bad situations ie: "Ugh, I'm so stressed out!" However, it's not always a bad thing. So, now that i gave you those definitions, I'm gonna break it down. A stressor, also called a stimulus could be called a situation, stress could be called your reaction to that situation. So if you won a million dollars and got very excited about it and peed your pants, the million dollars would be the stressor that led to the stress of you peeing your pants. See, not necessarily a bad thing, even though peeing your pants could be turned into a stressor and cause the stress of, I don't know, using part of that million to by yourself a new pair of undies. All this aside, I'm gonna now go into what I originally planned for this blog.

For awhile now, I have been praying for God to help me with a few issues, one of them has been the way I seek affirmation. I feel like I look for affirmation from people more than I do from God and I want that to change so I've been praying about it. Although I have felt very stressed at points (in a bad way), not so sensitive reminders from some people have really helped me to seek affirmation from God, and if He doesn't approve of what I'm doing then I need to fix it. For as long as I can remember, I have been a people pleaser. Saying, doing, acting in whatever way I could to try and keep whoever I'm with happy. Unfortunately, this didn't help to develop very good character and early on I became a two-faced gossiper. Another thing that has hindered me is not wanting to be at fault for anything, even though I hate when she says it, I know it's true and that's probably why I hate it but I hate when my mom says that I'm good at playing the victim. Honestly, I suck at playing the victim and it gets me nowhere and you'd think that I'd have learned that by now. I wish I would've, and I'm slowly starting to, but these two things; being a people pleaser and not wanting to be at fault for anything, have caused a bigger problem, lying. To be brutally honest, I'm kind of a compulsive liar, I realize that is almost a paradox but if you keep in mind that a paradox is a statement that seems to be self-contradicting but actually expresses a truth, then it makes sense. That's taken me, gosh, I don't know how many years to say that but I never wanted to say it because I didn't want people to not trust me. I guess that's pretty retarded but maybe if people quit trusting me I'll learn my lesson and in the mean time, be almost forced to seek affirmation only from God since people will doubt the validity of what I say since they know I'm a liar. I can't fool God so there is no point in trying to lie to Him, so like I said, hopefully I'll learn my lesson. I know that people will probably try to read me and search what I say for lies and call me out on something, and by all means, do it. I know that I tend to try and figure out when someone is lying or stretching the truth to make themselves sound cool, so if you catch me doing it, call me out on it. I've learned lately that I learn really well from that because I've been trying not to lie so when I get called out and am put in an uncomfortable situation I have to fight the urge to lie, and I have been getting better about not lying. I know you're probably wondering what this whole thing has to do with stressors being good, so I'll try to explain it. When I'm called out on something, it puts me under stress to have to come up with a way out of it, and if I do it honestly, I feel much better about the situation which gives me good stress. I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense but since this is only a blog it's hard to express everything through typing. I pray that God keeps me out of my comfort zone, because it allows me to grow in Him, and honestly, that's all I have been feeling lately is uncomfortable, but when I do, I know it's a good thing, and I know God is answering my prayers, and that helps build my faith incredibly. I'm not really sure how to end this blog with out it seeming unresolved so I suppose I'll just have to end it like this.

Friday, January 4, 2008

I LOVE THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!

oh my word... i love the Holy Spirit!! i really wish i was at church or youth group so i could have a Holy Ghost party, whoo! i FEEL SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW... like i could just go and run or jump around. i really wanna listen to some jonathan stockstill and dive into the river. oh man, sorry if this blog sounds crazy but you don't understand, i feel crazy!!! i love this video!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkDBjQ_PtoY&feature=related you gotta go watch it!!! also watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPYXDGhC170&feature=related it is soooo funny and awesome!!!

-devo

ps- staying true to my word i'm giving a shout out to two awesome 220i interns- maria and bridget!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Ten months ago...

The past eight months has been the best of my life, I've gone through hard stuff, but as long as I keep my eyes focused on Jesus, I make it through. This morning on the bus I was thinking about the amazing transformation I have gone through, and all I can say is praise God! He's the only one who can change us like that.

Ten months ago if you would have told me, "Hey, in two months you're gonna go to youth group and discover the love of your life and you're never gonna drink, do drugs, steal, or any of that other stuff ever again." I would have laughed at you and told you there was no way I'd go a day without being drunk or high unless I was broke.

Ten months ago if you would have said to me, "Guess what, in three months you're gonna have the most supportive group of friends who are gonna love you, help you up when you fall, tell on your butt when it needs to be told on, and they aren't gonna talk about you behind your back, best of all, they are gonna be your friends for life!" I would most likely have told you that you were delusional.

Ten months ago you could've come up to me and said, "Devyn, I know you're never gonna believe this but in four months you're gonna be completely clean, the love of your life that i mentioned before, you're still gonna be radically in love with Him and you always will be. Devyn, in four months you are gonna be the most broken you have ever been, you'll be on your knees, focusing on a cross, bawling your eyes out and wondering how you could have possibly made it this far." If you would have told me that ten months ago, I would have made it a point to avoid you at all costs.

Ten months ago if you would have said, "Dude, in six months you're going to be traveling to Louisiana to learn how to be a better person, you're gonna learn how to turn your school upside down. You won't believe all the stuff you'll learn but I'm tellin ya by July, you're gonna be so different. You wont even be listening to the music you're listening to now, it'll all be Christian." I would have told you were crazy and that I would never be such an extreme Christian.

Ten months ago if you would have had the guts to approach me and said, "In eight months you're gonna be going back to school and you will have been clean for a whole six months, you're gonna go into your school ready to win the lost and reap the harvest. You're gonna talk to people that you said you'd never be friends with, and you will have gone through things that will have forced you to be more mature." I would have told you the only way I'd be clean for six months was if my mom had sent me to rehab, and I would have told you to quit telling about Jesus.

Ten months ago If you would have told me that in ten months I would be on fire for God, telling anyone and everyone I can about Jesus, working hard at things in school, putting a ton of effort in to a youth group, and being committed to Christ, I wouldn't have believed a single word of it.

Less then ten months ago I was ready to be done with life, I felt I had nothing to live for. In March of 2007, something happened to me that changed my whole life. For the first time, i TRUELY accepted Jesus and committed my life fully to Him.

I don't know who you are or where your from, but if you don't have Jesus I can promise you that if you put your trust in Him, he'll help you through anything. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me if you want to know more about Jesus.

-Devyn

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Clouds

Praise God, He's so wonderful! This morning when I stepped outside it was such a nice surprise to feel the warm air! I was expecting the morning to follow the suite of the past few days and be bone chilling cold. The air was a little breezy but it was so warm for being 6:40 am that it was comforting and relaxing. It was familiar though, the warm air, it happens sometimes in fall, and it happened alot last year. Some how it triggered memories from last year and I was sucked into the feeling that I had been in that exact moment of time once before. The devil was trying to make me miss my past so that I'd stumble. I keep telling him it's not going to work, but he keeps trying, what a dummy he is. The exact thikng I was doing in that moment of time was completely erased from my mind, (I have a few ideas) but the strong emotions remained, reminding me of my past and how God brought me out of all of it.
When I turned on my samsung to listen to some music, the song was "Gravity" by Shawn McDonald, which was my favorite song for the first month or so after I got saved. As I was listening to it and looking at the sky that was just starting to get light, I was overcome with emotion and started praising God for everything He has done in my life. God really opened my eyes and reminded me more and more of what He brought me out of, and I felt that same feeling as I did the night I got saved. Just like that night in March, everything looked different, but I appreciated it more, it was like seeing the world for the first time and I suddenly felt so small, but safe because I am the servant of Mighty God. The bus came and we started to drive away from the soft pink, but ordinary clouds of dawn. It was dark on the bus, and God laid on my heart to turn to Psalms 108. Of course, I dug out my bible on the spot, excited to see what God had in store for me.
I used the light from my samsung to read the Psalm and the first five verses say: "My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart! Wake up, lyre and harp! I will wake the dawn with my song. I will thank you, Lord, among all the people. I will sing your praises among the nations. For your unfailing love is higher than the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens. May your glory shine over all the earth." God was speaking to me so specifically through His Word, I felt the words of the song so true in that moment. Praise Him that even though David wrote the Psalms so long ago, they are still made alive by the Holy Spirit!
I was absorbing all of what God was telling me and as we rounded the corner, the soft pink clouds we had left behind us had turned into one of the most vivid and beautiful sunrises I had ever seen! The reds, oranges, and pinks cast such a warm cheerful glow on the earth, I was lost in its beauty. We traveled along through town and on the old highway, Mount Si stood so boldly, the colorful sky behind it making the mountain a solid black. Still taking in the awe- inspiring view I remebered that old saying, "Red sky at night, a sailor's delight. Red sky in morning, sailors take warning." I realized that the brilliant sunrise would only last so long before there was a storm. I felt tricked and betrayed by the warm air and beautiful sky. God reminded me to enjoy the sunrise while it was here and worry about the storm when it happens.
How true this is for everyday life! God wants to enjoy and live in the joy He gives us and not let worry about the trouble that may come cloud what is happening right now. By the time I got to school the sunrise was fading into light pink, and then the sky was bright blue with some puffy yellow clouds. The air was so warm, and it still tried to lure me into the past, but I smiled because I knew that my faith in God had become even stronger than before.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Praise God! He is soooo good!

Do you ever just have one of those days where it feels just like any other day and then something comes along and surprises you? Well, today was one of those days, it totally seemed like it was just gonna be a regular thursday but God really surprised me! So, every first Thursday of the month we have this thing at school where everyone reads for thirty minutes. Well, there was a girl who didn't have a book so I told her I had a couple extras and she chose to read my extra Bible. All I could think was, "Praise God that there is a hunger for His Word!" Mount Si is so dry, I've been praying for God to pour out His fire on the school, and I'm so excited that the hunger is appearing. Well, i gotta go but i just wanted to share the news! Praise God!!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

T-Rex the Mouse

Out of all the days of the week, Saturdays are probably the most interesting. Why? Because they always change, Monday through Friday you're at school and Sundays are church. I'm not saying Saturdays are my favorite, but they're always unpredictable, you never know what you're gonna do, and almost every Saturday ends up with a story to tell. Which brings me to the anecdote of the day.
I woke up thinking it would be a day of catching up, but little did I know it would soon end up an adventure of its own. At about 1:30 I was talking to David on the phone and we were making plans of what to do today, eventually we decided to go to Target with Josh and Tommy. So at about 4pm we headed to Issaquah. Once we were at Target we were doing weird stuff like shopping cart jousting. Tommy was in a cart pushed by David and I was pushing Josh, we got swords from the halloween aisle and then found an empty aisle and began to joust. After Josh nailed Tommy in the arm we decided to stop.
We did a few other things at Target then we headed over to the Party for Less store and played with masks and wigs, then we went to Petco, and that is where I found T-Rex Dobromiwa the Mouse. To make a long story short (I have to go to bed 'cause i have church tomorrow.) I bought one of those small white mice. She is soooo cute! I don't know what I was thinking though, because I did get in trouble when I got home. I reassured my parents that I would find her a home, but the more I watch her, the more I want to keep her. Anyways, sorry for the unresolved story but my parents are making me go to bed. I will possibly write more later.

Goodnight :)
Devyn